The ability to put my anger and grief into words has escaped me for the past two weeks.
But I must speak. Ki, here we go.
An Upbringing
I was raised in a conservative christian environment, which had taught me that, although sex was a sin, a fetus was to be protected at all cost. Regardless of how that fetus comes into existence.
And although pregnancy among unmarried people is incredibly common in my home region, during my childhood I constantly heard judgment cast on unmarried parents. And I was expected to save sex and children for marriage. It was oddly jarring to be given the save-sex-for-marriage lecture constantly while observing that many people in my village had children outside of the parameters of western marriage.
A Situation
I was 19 years old. I was in the middle of my second year of undergraduate study.
In high school, I was the smart one. The good one. The one with so many expectations.
But then I became pregnant. It was unexpected and I was not ready for such a responsibility.
A Choice
I had always wanted to be a mother. But not that soon.
I had a choice to make. And I chose to give birth.
That choice led to a beautiful baby girl whom I adored. But that choice also kept me in an emotionally abusive relationship for many years.
The presence of my child did give me the courage to stand up for myself, to achieve goals that I never thought possible, and to leave that abusive relationship. And at the time, I thought that if others would follow my example, if they just ‘stepped out in faith,’ that good things would happen to them if they simply decided to give birth. My story had a happy ending, so why shouldn’t others follow my example?
I am glad that I have my daughter. But ultimately, it was my choice to give birth and raise her.
The Supreme Court of the United States has overturned Roe v. Wade, leaving it up to the states to decide if people can obtain abortions.
Abortion is still legal in Alaska. But now is not the time for complacency. I worry that Alaska will follow in the direction of the many other states if we do not fight for our rights.
As I write this, it is Independence Day. A few years ago, I wrote a post addressing why I cannot celebrate the holiday. Sadly, I have one more reason.
I fear for my daughter and the world she growing up in. But it is this fear that leads me to advocate for choice.
Yes, I am pro-choice. I support a woman’s right to choose for whatever reason, and I will continue to support choice until I cease to draw breath.
There is much more to this story. But tarra, that is all for now.
